Wednesday, December 16, 2015

My time with a sociopath

This is the hardest post so far that I have written.  I hope it will be therapeutic for me and if it helps someone, all the more better.  A couple of weeks ago, I did a post on gaslighting.  A portion of it included sociopaths.  As I was typing it, I kept thinking this seems familiar.  The more time went on I began to dwell on my relationship with my ex-husband.  The tears would just come out of nowhere.  It had been ages since I thought about it and I was sure I was over it.  I kept thinking about that post.  But really, a sociopath?  According to research approximately 4% of the population are sociopaths, but that number only includes those verified.  After doing research, I find my ex finds into every category of the following: SIGNS OF A NARCISSISTIC SOCIOPATH  1-CHARMING Do their say all the right things?  Never ending stream of flowers, gifts, emails and calls? 2-EGOCENTRIC & GRANDIOSE Have they told you how successful they have been?  Appear to be highly educated and/or knowledgeable about everything? 3-DISCONNECTED OF THEIR PAST Do they have any relationship with their family? Do they talk about a dysfunctional childhood? 4-THE VICTIM Of all the bad things that happened in their past, was it because of someone else? Passed over job promotions? Their ex is crazy or cheated? 5-ABUNDANCE OF YOUR TIME Do they want to spend all of your time with them? Excessive phone calls daily? 6-MOVING FAST Has the relationship progressed quickly?  Are they already planning a forever with you and you're still at square one? 7-INTIMACY Have they bragged about how good they are in bed? 8-LIAR LIAR Do they tell you a lie, that you know is a lie, yet deflect the conversation if you try and discuss it with them?  Things not adding up? 9-PREY'S ON YOUR EMOTIONS Do you feel mentally drained after spending time with them? 10-THE ART OF CONING If you question something about their most recent relationship/job/friends, they turn the conversation around to a different direction? 11-LACK OF IMPULSE CONTROL Do they talk to certain people one way and then someone else completely different? 12-ISOLATION Do you feel isolated from your friends and family? 13-BODY LANGUAGE Do they invade your personal space? Do you find yourself questioning their maturity? 14-SOCIAL DISCONNECTION Do they put put the charm on for your friends so they're accepted?  There's the whole humiliating truth. Does it help knowing it was not "all in my head"?  No, not really.

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