Monday, April 27, 2015

Bipolar and Relationships

Relationships are hard to maintain, but with bipolar it can be extremely difficult.  Even with medication, those of us with this illness, need to watch out for unhealthy thoughts and actions.  Most people with bipolar have self-esteem issues.  During my late teen and early twenties, I had no idea why I felt the way I did.  I thought if I just had a boyfriend, I would be complete.  I needed someone to make me laugh then I wouldn't be sad.  Many feel this way.  It's hard to realize you have to love yourself first before you can fully love another.  You have to learn to enjoy your own company.  We rely on others for all our happiness.  Insecurity is another emotion to be aware of.  It can lead to being paranoid.  If someone already feels they are not good enough for their partner, they may constantly feel they are being cheated on.  This can only be lead to disaster.  When manic, impulsiveness can be a problem especially where dating is concerned.  For everyone, falling in love gives out great euphoric feelings.  But for us, it is intensified.  Everything is great.  Nothing could go wrong.  Because of this, we tend to not think clearly.  We miss important aspects of the relationships.  We dismiss any bad behavior on our girlfriend/boyfriend parts.  "This is the one." " This is my soul mate."  Since everything is great and will stay that way, most feel there is no reason to wait to marry.  The thinking is we know everything there is to know.  After marriage, when everything becomes mundane, mania fades away.  For the spouse, if he/she has never seen cycling it can be a shock.  When dating, you can explain it.  But you really have to see it first hand to understand.  I went from full of energy, passionate and very attentive to being extremely tired.  I stop doting on him.  I didn't even realize I had become distant.  One reason this did happen, leads to our next behavior to watch for.  Trusting someone too much.  When I was told I didn't need medicine.  I believed this and right away stopped.  To this day, I am amazed how trusting I was.  I think part of it was maybe I didn't want to make waves.  A lot of us are scared to disappoint and especially scared to anger someone.  A well known fact of bipolar is many marry several times.  But with therapy and the right medicine, a healthy relationship is possible.  Be aware of these unhealthy traits  Get to know yourself fully.  Like and love yourself before starting to look for someone else.  When you find someone, slow down.  Let both of your good and bad side show.  You do not need to be completed.  If you feel something is not right, find out more information. Before making major life decisions, think things over carefully.

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