Ridiculous Excuses People Have Used To Call In Sick

I can't come in today- I accidentally boarded a plane.      I was at the casino all weekend and still have money left to play with this (Monday) morning.     I was sitting in the bathroom and my legs and feet fell asleep. When I stood up, I fell and broke my ankle.       I just put a casserole in the oven.   I woke up in a good mood and I didn't want to ruin it.   I had a 'lucky night" and I don't know where I am.   I got stuck in the blood pressure machine at the grocery store and can't get out.    I caught my uniform on fire by putting it in microwave to dry.    My plastic surgery for enhancement purposes needed some 'tweaking' to get it just right.     I have a gallstone and I want it to heal holistically.