Wednesday, March 2, 2016
I love being the moderator of Mental Health Advocacy Group and co-moderator of Mental Health Survivors. Choosing inspirational posts that might help someone feel happier. Trying to cover as many topics as I can find. I enjoy talking to members. If I could, I would make life better for each of you. I would love to make your pain and suffering disappear. But, I wonder do you sense it when I start not to believe what I send. If I am starting to loose hope, what does that mean for you? Does it affect what I having been trying to accomplish with the group? I do not want that. I am sure I am entitled to bad days also. I wouldn't be part of the groups if I didn't have mental illness. For a while depression has left me alone. The post I sent out did make me believe in love, hope and dealing with my illness. What do you do when one morning you wake up and feel that you were deceiving yourself? I wonder how long these thoughts have been stirring around in my head? Is it just my bipolar trying to bring me down or do I really believe there is no hope for me? My future seems bleak. Is this temporary? Don't get me wrong, I do not think any of this for others. This is just the way I see my situation. I am just wondering does the way I feel show through to the group. Does it influence my decisions on what I post? Am I a hypocrite? I am not sure how long this wave of uncertainty will last. I want to believe what I am posting. I want to believe all is not lost for me. Right now all I can do is try to live through the members. May be by reaching out to you it will somehow return my faith in myself.