Thursday, June 4, 2015

Bipolar with mixed symptoms

I am writing this post right now so I can remember how this feels.  I don't have mixed symptoms very often.  Mixed symptoms in bipolar is, for example, I am extremely tired but my mind is wide awake.  I had a doctor's appointment today but I had to reschedule.  My body is so exhausted I cannot get ready.  I was supposed to have lab work so I could not eat or drink anything.  But my body was "screaming" coffee.  Which, of course, is not possible. After rescheduling, I have been answering my craving for coffee. Lots and lots of coffee.  But, it has not help my fatigue at all.  That is why mixed symptoms are so frustrating.  It doesn't matter how tired you feel, sleeping is impossible as long as the brain wants to keep on going.  This is also why many crave sweets during times like these.  Once in awhile I will get the opposite of this state.  I will be hyper, but my brain will feel confused or muddled.  During these times is when I get into my best cleaning and organizing phases.  If I walk by a counter that needs cleaning or trash that needs throwing away, I stopped whatever I am doing and tend to that.  Most times I forget what I was originally doing so that chore may get forgotten.  That's another symptom- easily distracted.  Also, very irritating.  Like I said, these mixed symptoms only happen so often.  My medicines usually take care of it.  Why this happened today, I have know idea.  I just try to be patient and wait it out.  Hopefully it will pass in a couple of hours so I can salvage the rest of the day.  If not, today is what I call a "lazy day".  It's when I have to just take it easy because I am so worn out.  I just have to go with it.  I can try to fight it.  But I've learned from experience the bipolar will win.

2 comments:

  1. Donna, those symptoms sound a lot like me. Although I am not on meds and I don't have a doctor now. I am waiting patiently hoping to have my insurance changed to get a new doctor soon. I am making my support person tired as well which makes me guilty but my support person assures me they are okay when I do this. I just go in my room and write in my blog until I tire myself out. I did get to sleep a few times yesterday so I am rested now. I need a good therapist, and meds that work for me, as well as a cognitive therapy program away from my old one where I no longer feel welcomed there.I actually have a few lady friends there but I have issues with a lot of the men members that can't keep comments and hands to themselves. I also refuse to go to a program where no cameras are there as I know men with mental illnesses can be aggressive towards women from my three times in hospitals. I have had other women tell me they stopped going to this same program because of the sexual harassments occurring daily. I am seriously considering a program I know of that does have cameras everywhere in the facility but I have physical limitations now that require therapy. I have faith in God so I know I will be okay. I enjoyed your post and hope you feel better.

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    1. I am glad you have added me. I can't believe these places are allowing this to happen. You are going to get help and this just sets you back even further. Finding a good doctor and therapist is hard. My doctors have changed a few times. It's hard to adjust. I also hate the state insurances are in right now. Not everyone with mental illness can get proper care. That is so wrong. Please hang in there and keep trying to get insurance. Just a thought, I go to a state facility. Would you be eligible? Take care. I will be praying for you.

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