Thursday, June 4, 2015
Bipolar with mixed symptoms
I am writing this post right now so I can remember how this feels. I don't have mixed symptoms very often. Mixed symptoms in bipolar is, for example, I am extremely tired but my mind is wide awake. I had a doctor's appointment today but I had to reschedule. My body is so exhausted I cannot get ready. I was supposed to have lab work so I could not eat or drink anything. But my body was "screaming" coffee. Which, of course, is not possible. After rescheduling, I have been answering my craving for coffee. Lots and lots of coffee. But, it has not help my fatigue at all. That is why mixed symptoms are so frustrating. It doesn't matter how tired you feel, sleeping is impossible as long as the brain wants to keep on going. This is also why many crave sweets during times like these. Once in awhile I will get the opposite of this state. I will be hyper, but my brain will feel confused or muddled. During these times is when I get into my best cleaning and organizing phases. If I walk by a counter that needs cleaning or trash that needs throwing away, I stopped whatever I am doing and tend to that. Most times I forget what I was originally doing so that chore may get forgotten. That's another symptom- easily distracted. Also, very irritating. Like I said, these mixed symptoms only happen so often. My medicines usually take care of it. Why this happened today, I have know idea. I just try to be patient and wait it out. Hopefully it will pass in a couple of hours so I can salvage the rest of the day. If not, today is what I call a "lazy day". It's when I have to just take it easy because I am so worn out. I just have to go with it. I can try to fight it. But I've learned from experience the bipolar will win.