Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Overbearing parents

As a mother, I tried to keep a balance between making sure my son got good grades but not obsessing about it.  He was diligent about schoolwork. But he became very disappointed if he made anything lower than an A.  I knew he wanted to make good grades for college, but I felt that life should not pass him by. I do not agree with "tiger moms" or "helicopter parents".  I just watched a real-life story where the daughter just lost it one day and killed her mother. I do not condone what she did, but her mother was brutal.  How can anyone constantly put their child down for not being perfect. What happened to doing your best?  The child got an A-.  The mother ripped up the test in front of her. She said that she should have gotten an A+.  That may have been the best she could have done for that day. Also, to make her daughter stand nude in front of her while she insults her terribly.  That was her way of insuring her daughter would get a better grade next time.  I do not feel verbally abusing anyone is healthy.  They will suffer this all their life. It will stick in their head. I also do not feel parents should constantly be second guessing the teacher's decisions all the time. It is a different story when it is absolutely needed. Sometimes children need to suffer the consequences of their actions. If their parents rush in every time, how are they to learn the right behavior. They begin to rely on their parents to bail them out of every sticky situation. They are not prepared for the real world, where mom or dad may not be able to help them. I've seen parents put pressure on their children, as early as, kindergarten. Their baseball or football games should be fun. At that age, why are you so serious? Why do parents start fighting with the referee or other parents? Worst why embarrass your child by screaming insults at them? Parents you can not relive your life through your child. Children should have the right to fulfill their own dreams. Not their parents. As far as pressure, children have enough in this crazy world. Parents should be their to support their children.  It is a tough world, children need to have security. They need to be able to come home and get comforted after a horrible day. Parents are not perfect, why should we insist our children be?

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